just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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