I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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