im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
