My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize