Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
