How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you never un-have a 4some
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize