For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
