i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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