He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
