I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize