note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
