If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
3 2 1 whiskey
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
