dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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