We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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