I wish I could teleport
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
