you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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