Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
