Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
