I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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