Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize