question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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