your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
