She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
