I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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