I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
