She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
