You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
