how can u be prego again
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
