Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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