I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
