90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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