You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize