You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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