I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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