i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
