I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
