so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
