belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
