Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize