i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
