i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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