just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
