omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
no, he came in my armpit
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
