I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
