yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
