thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
did you just send me my own nude
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize