puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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