You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
