i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
