It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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