I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
