Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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