Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
