Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
