she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
