Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize