he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You made out with two different species that night
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize