using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
