I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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