I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
