I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
