right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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