Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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