I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
