Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize