Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to make a zoo with you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
