He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
