i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
